corpse_flower-228x300 Dispatch: Oxford English Dictionary Assaults Everyone With Crazed New Wordscorpse_flower-228x300 Dispatch: Oxford English Dictionary Assaults Everyone With Crazed New WordsSo apparently the Oxford English Dictionary has published its new words list. How many do you suppose they’ve added? More than 1100, if you can believe that. How can there be that many new words? I looked over the list and I gotta tell you they range from unnecessary to stupid. Lots of weird words. Here’s one now: “Corpse flower.”

I have to say, that caught my attention. Here’s what livescience dot com says: “One of the world’s largest and rarest flowering structures, the corpse flower is a pungent plant that blooms rarely and only for a short time. While it is in bloom, the flower emits a strong odor similar to rotting meat or, aptly, a decaying corpse.”

I guess it’s good they don’t bloom very often. Who would even want that around? Apparently it’s a big deal when they do bloom; people will line up around the block to get a sniff. If you got 43 seconds check out the video embedded here of people giving their reactions.

There are too many words in the OED list to even read them all. Also, this list is really annoying because you can’t click on the word to get the definition! That’s just messed up. Why would they do that? And here’s the worst part; they haven’t yet added the words to the online version of the dictionary. I punched a few into the OED search field and nothing comes up! Why the fuck wouldn’t they hold the list until the changes were made online? There must be a word for that but I’m not sure what it is.

Something really irritating about the choices they made is they have a whole bunch of entries in which “self” is appended at the front of a word with a hyphen. These go from “self-abandoning” to “self-wilfulness,” and they all seem to me to be entirely useless. Why don’t they just reproduce the entire dictionary and put “self-” at the beginning of every word?

Personally, I think they should have made the word “fruitivore.”

Another one of these new words that caught my attention was “frugivore.” That’s defined as animals that eat only fruit. I’m kinda surprised we didn’t already have a word for that. How annoying was it in the old days when somebody would say: “These animals are carnivores, these are omnivores, these are herbivores, and then these animals over here only eat fruit.” Make you feel kind of stupid having to say all that.

Well, now you don’t have to. Personally, I think they should have made the word “fruitivore.” When I first saw “frugivore” in the list I thought it would be animals that could only eat if they were doing The Frug, which was a dance craze in the 60’s. The video here is only 15 seconds long. Mercifully. If you want to see what The Frug was.

Then finally I noticed this shiny new word: “hazardly.” The only definition I could find was in the Urban Dictionary: “A non-word many illiterate people use in place of ‘haphazardly.’” Illiterate, huh? Seems kind of harsh. Here’s what google throws up for haphazardly: “in a manner lacking any obvious principle of organization.”

Okay, that’s “haphazardly,” so what could “hazardly” possibly mean? “Hap” doesn’t show up as a prefix except in “haphazardly.” You look up “hap” and the first definition is “luck, chance.” Okay, so you’re leaving the organization of something up to chance. Then I guess “hazardly” would have to mean organized? The problem is, of course, I can’t look the word up with the OED because the fucks haven’t put the definition up yet.

So there we have it. That’s the word I was looking for to describe how the OED gets information out to the public. Haphazardly.

Definitely not hazardly.

M. Nick