Zergnet is a breathless fanboy commercial blog, mostly about celebrities. I saw a story there today about an actor they claim has a “shady side.” I wish the mainstream media would get the picture already: All actors have shady sides. Or at least Zergnet can come up with a shady side for any actor or, for that matter, any celebrity. There are apparently claims a guy named T.J. Miller is sexist and raciest. I thought, okay, that’s plus two, but how is he at mocking handicapped people?

z-dispatch_logo-300x85 Dispatch: News Story Made For A Sexist, Racist ComedianI’d never heard of the guy. I have heard of TJ Max without ever finding out what TJ Max is or was. Miller was described as a comedian who was in a sitcom. I like comedians, but it’s no wonder I’ve never heard of the guy because I don’t watch TV shows.

No, I’m not snooty about it. I’m not necessarily better than TV. I’m not one of these liberals whose shit don’t stink; I just don’t like it. The last TV show I watched regularly was “Breaking Bad,” and then only until the strike. Was it a strike? Something happened and they had to postpone the rest of the last season’s shows. Or something. I don’t remember and I never went back to find out what happened.

The brand new Airbus A230 nearly ran out of fuel because the pilots forgot to retract the landing gear.

Spoilers were everywhere, of course, and I tried to ignore them pretending to myself I’d someday watch the finish of the series. Eventually, by a sort of process of osmosis I’ve learned Walt killed the DEA bro-in-law, and then I think somebody killed Walt. I don’t know but I mean, where else could they go with that?

z-dispatch_logo-300x85 Dispatch: News Story Made For A Sexist, Racist Comedian
Yeah…think this supposed to be folded up out of the way.

Today I saw a story we want to make very sure nobody tells TJMax about. Sorry, T. J. Miller. There was a little problem with an Air India flight from Mumbai to Kolkata requiring they divert to Nagpur. The brand new Airbus A230 nearly ran out of fuel because the pilots forgot to retract the landing gear.

Flying with the gear down causes a lot of drag, and uses an inordinate amount of fuel. The plane struggled after take off, and they had to settle for 24k feet altitude instead of the customary 35k feet. They couldn’t get to speed, either, flying at 230 knots instead of 500. They knew something was wrong, but couldn’t figure out what. The plane also had to sound like shit, I’d think. So after an hour and a half of this, they diverted rather than run out of fuel.

The source “made a point of saying that both pilots were women.”

The story was in the UK Telegraph, and they were getting their information from an “unnamed source” at The Times of India. Here’s a quote from the story: The source “made a point of saying that both pilots were women.”

It’s amazing the things you learn about yourself in the writing trade. As soon as I got into this dispatch I realized my altruistic motive to not let T.J. know about this was a sham. It turns out I’m an instigator, a shit disturber, a troublemaker, maybe even a troll. This story was MADE for a sexist racist comic. The pilots were women, and I’m just going to guess they were Indian. Woo hoo. Sitting ducks! Twitter frenzy!!! Somebody get this info to T.J. Miller ASAP!!!

I can’t wait to see what happens…

M. Nick